How did tis happen to me? Do you ever wonder that? How could I have floated so far off the path that I thought I was on? I just thought maybe there will be some meaning to my life. That seems like such a dream right now. I haven’t had a real job since kids.
How has it come to this? Is the question I would like to know the answer to. Zeroed down to nothing, treated as trash or irrelevant, living as a shadow of myself. Feeling little amongst my peers. Chopping insult from people any how! I’m constantly provoked and pitied like I have some disease or something. My thoughts do not count because I am not bringing home the big bucks.
The belittling as a stay home Mom from people is just too much and it needs to stop.
“So what do you do all day? So you just chill all day?” “So now you are a house wife”
I cannot count how many times I have been asked this question. Like I relax and sleep all day or something. I’m a mom of two under two and I have a lot on my plate. I chose to stop working to stay home and take care of my kids, I chose to be a stay home mom. Should I feel bad for doing this?
Darling I’m constantly feeding these kids, I bath them, I cloth them, I do playtime, teach them, read to them, photograph them, Breastfeed, pray with them. I’m constantly changing bloody poop diapers all flipping day! putting them to sleep, comforting them. I’m going to school, constantly thinking of ways to make money from home. Hardly sitting or resting. I fantasize about just sitting in my balcony and just reading a book. Sometimes I don’t go to bed till 1 or 2:00am only to wake up 7:00am to pick up my routine once again. I am dealing with everything that comes with postpartum too because let’s not forget I am a person too.
I am constantly making sure these kids are not ill, constantly going through the fucking tantrums, doing the bloody dishes, laundry, bloody cleaning, flipping cooking, doing the never ending chores. Hearing babies cry and yell all bloody day 247. Constant headache, body ache, tiredness. We have no help! It’s just I and my Husband. He helps a lot and does the best he can to take care of all of us. It is a 1 income household at the moment. The difference between I and day care is that they get paid and I don’t. They clock out and I don’t. That’s what I do all #@$% day. And Fuck you for that statement!
What? because I don’t make money and is fully dependent on my struggling Husband suddenly my life is UnImportant or under valued, what I do is regarded as nothing? I’ve even lost friends because of my status and situation at the moment. What? I no longer have anything to offer? Screw you I have A Lot to offer! I have spent my life feeling little and always trying to be modest but I’m fed up! Screw everything. Please let us Stop Making Stay Home Mom’s Feel Less Than Enough. You are enough! Where you are right now, whatever position you are in, you are enough.
Who else is going through this or has a solution? please lets’s vent and help each other.
The Harsh Reality.
